This Is Real Life: I'm Not Ready To Face Reality

Hello August! First, how the F is it August already?? Second, OMG it's August! I kinda love August. It's my birthday month (hello 30!) and as a perpetual student and lover of learning, I have always enjoyed the anticipation of a new school year, new classes, new friendships, new experiences, and the evolution of summer into fall. August has always seemed to be a month of change and transition and this August is no exception.

See, my entire life has pretty much been turned on it's head over the last few weeks/month.

And for the past few weeks and month I have been planning on sharing all of these changes with you. I've had posts written for over a month now, ready and waiting to be published starting today.

But honestly, I'm still not ready. I've been sitting on these posts for a month and I'm afraid to hit publish.

You see, the changes that have happened, and the decisions I've made have been hard and painful decisions. Decisions that I'm still trying to wrap my head around and process. Decisions that on one hand feel like the right move, and yet also feel like a mistake. Decisions that to an outsider probably aren't what I "should" be doing, and that don't make much sense.

And yet, here I am.

But this is the whole point. This is what real life is; the nervous, anxious, terror of questioning the changes in your life. The internal struggle and conflict we have with ourselves over these decisions is real life. The back and forth over whether you are doing the right thing or making a mistake is real life.

Right now my real life is that I'm afraid to show you my real life. Bare with me.